Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bedside manner: negative

We went for our first ultrasound last Thursday at five weeks, six days and I was excited that we might get to see the heartbeat because once the heartbeat's been detected the chance of miscarriage drops to less than 10 percent. But I was trying not to be too excited because the heartbeat can't always be seen that early -- a few days can make a big difference around six weeks. Still, I hoped.

So we went in and the ultrasound started and after a few seconds the ultrasound tech asks me "Have you HAD a positive pregnancy test?" HUH? My heart dropped and I said "Yes" and she kept moving the wand around and didn't say another word for what felt like forever but must have really been five or 10 minutes. I couldn't see the screen so I didn't have any idea what was going on but I felt sure she'd tell me when she found the baby. I was freaking out in my mind and praying really, really hard for her to find the baby and for it to be fine.

I could only think of three possibilities: a) I'd had a miscarriage, which I didn't think was likely because I hadn't had bleeding or cramps or any other symptoms; b) I hadn't been pregnant in the first place, which I didn't think was likely because I'd had five positive home pregnancy tests and a positive blood test at the doctor's office; c) the baby wasn't where it was supposed to be, which I figured couldn't be good (ectopic?). She just kept moving the wand around and not saying a word.

Finally, she moved the screen so I could see it and pointed out the baby and its heartbeat (yay!) and said it was measuring right on schedule. I told her, "Your silence was scaring me!" but I was so relieved my annoyance quickly disappeared.

She left so I could get dressed and Matt and I agreed that was terrifying. He had been able to see the screen from where he sat so although it did take her a couple of minutes to find the baby, he saw her find it. But HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. So for several minutes, while she was measuring the baby, etc., I was the only person in the room who thought she was still looking in vain for the baby.

I asked Matt, "WHY didn't you say something when she found it?!" and did not get a satisfactory response. Oh well. All's well that ends well.
(He thinks this picture looks like a creepy rabbit. I can see it too.)


Amanda said...

HAHAHA! I can see that!!

Anonymous said...

That 'rabbit' is hilarious!!! :)