Called out

I was worried it was inevitable, and it happened last night: I got called out for not drinking and subsequently "discovered" as pregnant. We were at a birthday party for our friend Wendi. While we knew everyone there, most of them are casual acquaintances, not good friends. A lot of them go to the same gym as us but they're definitely a crowd we would have expected to tell about the baby in, say, another month. Not how it went down.

First of all, before we'd even arrived Wendi had opened a bottle of white wine just for me. Apparently everyone else there prefers red wine, beer or bloody Marys, so the white just sat there opened and full. She kept trying to force it on me and I kept trying to put her off without being obvious. I'd run a 10k race that morning and was trying to play the "I'm dehydrated/just need water for now" card. I could tell she wasn't quite buying it, but there was a lot going on and she didn't pursue it.

Then this guy Thomas, whom we don't know well at all, came up to me.

Thomas: Why aren't you drinking tonight?
Me: I don't know, I just don't feel like it. I need water tonight. I don't really drink much anyway.
Thomas: Uh-huh. Or is there something you're waiting to tell us?
Me: No ...
Thomas: A little CrossFit baby on the way?

I am the world's worst liar, so I just shook my head and walked away but apparently that was not a good cover because he grabbed my arm and said "Aha!"

Luckily right after that we started playing Pictionary, boys versus girls, so I was safe with the girls where he couldn't pursue his questioning. But a few hours later, when we were leaving, he shook Matt's hand.

Thomas (stage whisper): Congratulations, man. I won't say a word!
Wendi (overhearing, because that was really loud): What's he congratulating you for?
Thomas: Oh ... they just ... had a really good workout yesterday, that's all.
Wendi: You're pregnant, aren't you.

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

So we're definitely telling our grandparents this week. I just don't want them to hear it from anyone else, and too many people know now. Not that any of them probably know our grandparents. But word travels like wildfire in this town.

Pink, I think

I am going to go on record as saying I'm positive we're having a girl. Obviously there's no way to know that for sure for a few more months, but whenever I think about this baby, I can only think of it as a girl. In my thoughts and prayers I always refer to her(?) as "her" or "she" -- sometimes this even slips out when I'm talking to Matt. It's been like this ever since I found out I was pregnant.

This could be because I grew up with only a sister and suspect I'd have no idea what to do with a boy. It could be because I'm hoping to get to buy cute girly stuff. It could be because I'm greedy for hand-me-downs (virtually all of our friends with a baby have had a girl).

For what it's worth, Mom and Dad agree. Mom said that when I told them, both of them almost immediately thought, She's going to have a girl. Of course all of this could mean nothing -- I certainly wouldn't be the first person to be dead wrong about the gender. Luckily, Matt (who's leaning toward a boy) and I will have plenty of time to get used to the idea between the 20-week ultrasound and the birth.

Slippery slope

There's a weird thing happening here that I don't know how to avoid, and that is that I've had to announce my pregnancy to some people who barely qualify as acquaintances, yet most of our friends and even our grandparents don't have a clue yet.

For example: The day it finally sank in that I was pregnant (around day 4 of at-home positives) I had an appointment for a cavity filling that afternoon. I knew they'd be numbing my mouth and I wasn't sure whether that was OK for the baby. I googled it and got with mixed responses, but several sites said it's better to wait until the second trimester for fillings, so I decided to play it safe.

I called to reschedule my appointment. Unfortunately, in order to not be charged for the missed appointment (I didn't give 24 hours' notice) I had to have a really good explanation. I told the receptionist that I had found out just that morning that I was pregnant and that in fact she was the third person on the planet to know. Which is odd. Then I begged her not to say anything to anyone -- all of Matt's family goes to the same dentist.

It happened again today. I was supposed to play on a tennis league next spring and practices are starting now and I guess I could have waited but I felt like I should tell the coach so she'd have enough time to replace me -- she's already short two players.

This doesn't even count all the acquaintances who work at my doctor's office -- but hopefully HIPAA laws are a strong enough incentive for them to keep quiet.

What not to eat

I've known some friends and acquaintances to go seemingly overboard in their caution while pregnant. Most doctors will tell you that most everything's fine in moderation, but some people aren't willing to do ANYTHING that could possibly harm the baby. I know of people who have switched face washes to avoid salicylic acid, who have replaced all of their cleaning products with more natural ones, who have refused to drink tap water, who won't eat a Caesar salad, etc.

I'm certainly not judging anyone for taking the conservative approach and it's true you can find articles online making a case for cutting out salicylic acid, cleaning chemicals, tap water and anything made with raw or undercooked egg. Plus a whole lot more.

Personally, I'm comfortable avoiding the major risks and approaching everything else with moderation.

I'm strictly cutting out alcohol for the entire pregnancy, and most caffeine at least for the first trimester (I've had a glass of sweet tea here and there). Most studies agree that some caffeine is safe and too much caffeine can increase the risk of miscarriage. It's actually easier for me to go cold-turkey on caffeine than to drink just a little. ("Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult," Samuel Johnson said.) And there are plenty of good options when I just need the buzz of carbonation -- root beer, ginger ale, decaf Coke, etc.

Other foods you're supposed to limit or avoid are hot dogs, pepperoni and bacon, none of which I'm being strict about. I haven't had a hot dog so far but if I crave one I will. You're supposed to be vigilant about cleaning fruits before you eat them and I'm going to try to get better about that. I have cut out turkey sandwiches (they're OK if the turkey's heated, but I don't like it heated) and luckily I don't like sushi and I also won't eat soft cheeses.